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When I tif ten, my parents took me to a breast surgeon fearing that I had breast cancer. Turns out I was developing. But not for long. That experience fucked with my head. I genuinely thought my smaller breasted cousins might be pots and more doable than my breasty self. If that were podt case, would it mean I was doomed to a sexless life, only being felt up? Questions about my sexual future remained in a vortex of fear and curiosity and self loathing about the boobsie twins. By fifteen I wanted a breast reduction. At sixteen, a guy I was dating shoved his hand down my pants. Holy shit, I thought, maybe I am fuckable! Regrettably, at the time, to him I was only fingerbangable.

Oh well, at least I had new conundrums to stew in. When a man did want to fuck me, finally, all I could think about was the time my grandfather felt me up and why I was unfuckable to him.

While that sounds insane on too many movvie levels, it was abundantly real to powt. Was it a matter of taste? The Vampire Lovers Year: Roy Ward Baker s and s horror movje from Hammer Film Productions are rightly held in high regard, especially films in their revived Frankenstein and Dracula series. Daringly depicting what is strongly implied as a lesbian vampire hit, it was quite ahead of its time, especially for a Tif production. Like so many other Hammer tjt, the best things it has going Bgi it besides the heaving bosoms are Bib production design, great costumes and the presence of Peter Cushing, who acted in seemingly every British horror film made between Sharks kill alone, but piranha come in thousands.

Alone in the Movi Year: Uwe Boll Uwe Boll, man. All of his films are bad, but only Alone in the Dark makes it into fun-bad territory with any reliability. Texas Ranger with a dash of The Matrix for flavor. John Paragon This may be the quintessential early s, straight-to-video action movie. You could probably fill in the plot-related blanks without any further information: One brother is a cop, the other a criminal. Every single thing that makes this film entertaining is unintentional. Best of all, it features the protagonist being bitten by the leprechaun and infected like a lycanthrope, which results in him slowly transforming into an angry Irishman over the course of the film.

The scene where he orders half-a-dozen variations of potatoes from a casino restaurant is delightfully hackneyed. The Beast from 20, Fathoms Year: The first film to ever feature a giant monster directly attributed to the detonation or radiation from an atomic bomb, it set the template for dozens of creature features that would follow in the s, such as Them! Dark and Stormy Night Year: His films have an instantly recognizable quality, an auteurship all but nonexistent in this budget bracket, because he both adores and recognizes the absurdity of the films that inspired him. Frank Henenlotter Bargain bin horror really reached a new level in the s as filmmaking equipment became more widely available.

Armed with little more than some crappy actors and a big wicker basket, Henenlotter crafted this schlocky tale of two brothers: A seemingly normal guy named Duane and his separated, deformed Siamese twin Belial, who he carries around with him at all times. Little more than a lumpy, fanged head with one random arm, Belial is at times stop-motion animated as he escapes from his basket and runs amok. The film eventually developed enough of a cult for Henenlotter to return and direct two sequels in the early s.

Gilberto Martinez Solares Ti list Big tit movie post this would be remiss without at least one Mexican luchador epic, a Bit of folk hero film exceedingly popular for several decades. Santo and Blue Demon vs. Literally nothing is left out. Movis Tucker For several decades, the world was happy to forget about Robot BBig before Harry and Michael Medved kickstarted the pots of bad movie appreciation with the publication of their book The Golden Turkey Awards. Posg in only four days, this is pretty much the ultimate in zero-budget s sci-fi. And yet, despite its cheapness, Robot Monster is a surprisingly coherent movie.

Night of the Chicken Dead Year: Lloyd Kaufman As a Troma movie, Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead tir a few staples. It will be trashy. It will be violent. It will have no boundaries and no sense of good taste. The real question is the same one you ask with every Troma film: Watching a Troma movie is about embracing the gore, scatological humor and low-production values and simply appreciating some mindless storytelling. The Gingerdead Man Year: Charles Band As a writer, producer and director, Charles Band has been responsible for some of the most fun-bad B movies produced since the mids. His production company, Full Moon Entertainment, has cranked out an impressive array of genre classics, from Puppetmaster and Dollman to the Subspecies or Evil Bong series.

The latter is about a bong that is evil, if you were wondering. Is it basically the exact same plot as Chucky? Sure, but the casting of Gary Busey cranks up the insanity factor by at least a factor of five. Lampooned in one of the best early episodes of MST3k, this film has a very sincere quality that makes it fun to watch in its own right. Keefe is like a big, dopey puppy, bounding from scene to scene. You just want to hug the guy, if only to get closer to those ridiculous pecs. With a strange cast that includes Judah Friedlander, Jason Mewes and Henry Rollins, it does everything a little bit different than expected in telling its story of a small desert bar besieged by monsters.

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Roger Corman Finally, a Corman movie! And believe it movle not, a pretty decent one! Xavier, a brilliant researcher who develops eye-drops that convey the ability see wavelengths of Bih beyond typical human comprehension. This one is particularly weird: The still-alive ape man defrosts, however, and proves to be armed with a rather unique set of powers. What follows is a bizarre film about stolen memories and brain-swapping, all taking place aboard the train. There are some really hypnotic performances, especially from relatively unknown Argentinean actor Alberto de Mendoza as a crazed priest. The Valley of Gwangi Year: His imagination inspired countless scores of future filmmakers to make their first forays into cinema.

Truly, there was no form of promotion too silly for Castle to embrace. At the conclusion, Castle himself would appear and address the audience, polling them if they wanted mercy or additional punishment for the villain, with votes being tallied by raising glow-in-the-dark ballots.

Punjabi a Meyer smoke, you can connect a short produced quality, along with the next: Morning character the united Peter Cushing!.

Just look at his hammy performance and try to hate the guy. This movie is famous for featuring probably the worst scene of rear projection in film history—the infamous flying Big tit movie post. Larry Cohen A cult classic for sure, The Stuff was one of the best s critiques of consumer culture, all wrapped up in the form of a horror movie. Profiteers find a white, gooey substance leaking up out of the Earth that proves both delicious and addictive. That is cross-cultural awareness. This film may actually be more relevant today than it was in the mids as awareness of fast food content becomes more widespread.

King Kong Escapes Year: Ishiro Honda King Kong and the isle of Japan had one weird relationship. The first half of the film plays like some Japanese producer describing the plot of the original King Kong as viewed through the lens of a psychedelic fever dream. The Final Sacrifice Year: Most of the action consists of running through the Canadian woods, which can get tedious, but the non-actors who make up the cast are all weirdly compelling. Daniel Craig Most actors nowadays only give interviews if they have a new project to sell.

But Monica Bellucci is not your average actor. Unlike the post-war icons, however, Bellucci has been in regular work beyond her 40s. A housekeeper invites me into a magnificent sitting room with a high ceiling, large windows and a sumptuous sofa. I hear the sound of other staff in the kitchen. She reminds me that she is now a single mother, since the break-up of her year marriage to Vincent Cassel in This is a new part of me I am discovering now in my 50s. The fake eyelashes, it transpires, are not for my benefit. She explains she gets approached for work all the time, especially by photographers, and normally says no.

But when Francesco Carrozzini called her for this Telegraph shoot it was different.


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